Piley Cyrus



Piley Cyrus =  Code Name for Piles

When my friend Whatsapps me with the phrase “Piley Cyrus is back on tour!” I know exactly what she is talking about!

Her piles are back!

Sometimes the message arrives with emojis of balloons and a bus and party streamers etc and this is code for “Piley Cyrus is on the tour bus with her whole entourage and road crew and they are playing a sell out stadium tour in my bum!” and in case you can’t work out what that means…it means her Piles are giving her grief as they are really sore and inflamed and itchy!

Anyone who suffers from haemorrhoids or piles (which is much easier to spell), knows that they are more irritating and harder to live with than a twerking primadonna popstar – but why do we get them and what can we do?

My father (who is an obstetrician and gynaecologist and not just a haemorrhoid spokesman) always says- there are 2 kinds of women postnatally – those women who like to talk about their piles and those who like to pretend they don’t have them!  So this blog post is dedicated to both these groups of women who will know all about it when Piley Cyrus and her crew pitch up!

How Do You Get Piles?

When you are pregnant, you may get a bit constipated, and when you are straining to do a poo, the added pressure of your uterus and the baby can force some of the blood vessels in your anal canal to pop out.

This can cause bleeding, discomfort and itching. You may feel small lumps around your bottom and you may see some blood when you wipe after doing a poo.

You may also develop piles after giving birth. During the pushing stage you may push some blood vessels out of your bottom, but these should start to disappear in the weeks after your birth.

Some women can get piles for the first time whilst breastfeeding if they are a bit dehydrated and become constipated.

Or you can just get piles because your forebearers had them and you are genetically predisposed to developing them!

What Can I do About My Piles?

The best ways to deal with them will depend on how severe they are –

  • It sounds disgusting- but when you are having a shower or bath- when you are cleaning your bottom, have a feel- if you can feel anything poking out- then gently use a finger to push them back in. Make sure you cut your nails!
  • There are lots of over the creams and ointments you can get in the Chemist- happily they are usually on the shelves so you don’t have to ask the person serving you, really loudly for “ANUSOL” in the middle of your small, local chemist.
  • Having said that, the super-turbo-charged “Anusol Soothing Relief” is only available over the counter – so if you want the really good stuff you will have to brave it!
  • If things are bad- then suppositories and cream together are a good idea.
  • (Both suppositories and cream can be prescribed by your doctor and if you have a Maternity Exemption Certificate then you can get them for free during your pregnancy and for a year afterwards)
  • Using moist toilet tissues after going to the loo can help. But don’t flush them and try and get biodegradable ones!
  • Warm baths are good to soothe the itching.
  • Cold Compresses are a real relief if you are really sore, especially after giving birth.
  • And if things are really really painful and sitting down becomes an issue- you may need a small inflatable donut cushion for a week or so – like a small rubber ring -available on amazon!
  • If your piles do not get better after the birth of your baby and continue to be a nuisance then it is best to see your doctor who might suggest treating them with an injection to shrink them or perhaps even removing them in a quick and easy operation.

For more information about other things that may or may not happen to you when you have a baby, do come and sign up for our Antenatal and Postnatal Courses!



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